Midnight Goddess

I survived another year of life and I’m very thankful. It’s been a tough year as my birthday marks a year since me and Marty went through a very painful, trying time. We’re still healing from it and I expect that it will take awhile before we’re completely healed.

We didn’t do anything “special” for my birthday because we didn’t have any money and Marty had to work all day today. But I’ve gotten many phone calls throughout the day from my family: aunts, uncles, in-laws, grandma, Mom and Dad, Marty, and Sean. It was great hearing from everyone. I even got bombarded with birthday greetings from my guild friends on WoW, thanks to Sean who told them that it was my birthday ;). Thanks Sean. I also got a lot of automated greetings from various forums, including ones that I forgot I was a member of.

The kids were being good for me. They weren’t stressing me out or pissing me off which was good. Memphis had drawn balloons and cake for me. Him and Jaz torn off a bunch of bright colored post-its and put them in a pillow case. They tossed them in the air and pretended that it was all confetti. We sat down at 8 PM and watched “Who, Bob, What Pants”, a gift from Memphis to me ;).

Last night, Marty gave me a really sweet birthday card. I knew he spent a lot of time picking out just the right card for me. He said he had to read about 15 different cards before he found the right one. It was really sweet of him. He included a scratch it ticket. I was close to winning $25,000. Only needed one more number. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Last night and part of this evening, Memphis has been bawling his eyes out because he doesn’t want me and Marty to die. We tried to explain to him that we have long lives to live. We talked in depth about God, death, the after life, Heaven… It was too much for Memphis. He kept crying and crying saying that he didn’t want to be alone and that he wanted to go with us when we pass away. I tried to comfort him the best I could. He’s such a sweet boy with a big heart. I love him.

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Absolutely blows. I’ve been PMSing like crazy for the past week and a 1/2 so not only was I suffering but the rest of my family was suffering as well. I’ve been getting furiously mad at everyone for every thing, big and small. My patience was almost nonexistent. Sometimes I believe that I’m much better off having my period because my emotions aren’t out of whack. I’m not mood swinging and my body doesn’t hurt like hell.

Not only that but the economy has gone to complete shit. Normally, I don’t let it bother me because I can’t control it. I have a better chance of controlling our family’s economy. But the economy is seriously effecting my mom and Marty’s parents. His parents are stressing out hardcore. They’re among many people in this nation that are suffering from the stock market tanking like hell everyday.

Me and Marty have been fighting a lot the past 2 weeks. It’s been hard. The core of all of our fighting is mainly the lack of money. We always agreed that if we didn’t have money issues, our marriage would be just about perfect. It really would be. Can’t wait to win millions from the Mega Millions lottery.

Anyway, things were said between us that were not nice, downright mean. There was a lot of shouting and insulting.

Last week, me and the kids were at the neighborhood WaMu bank several times. Master Plumbing wrote Marty 2 separate business checks but they were addressed to Pro West Coast Services. So I had to go to the bank to deposit the checks for him. What a monstrous fiasco that started. Apparently, the bank had closed our business account the day before without our knowledge or consent due to the fact that there were no large deposits to the account since March. So I had to frantically search our apartment for the fictious business name statement which I found in a binder. Then I had to go back with it to the bank so that they would open a new business account. They refused to reopen the original account. That made us look like new business account owners which in essence made them hold our funds for 2 business days. Bullshit. We had to pay the fuckin rent! And I needed the funds in the account.

Over a week and many frustrating trips to the bank later, I managed to get the funds I needed into our personal account and gave Stephanie, our apartment complex manager, a bank certified check. Luckily she didn’t ding us for $50 for the check being late.

I really need to be making steady money. It’s that simple. But how to do that remains the frustrating question.

I talked to my aunt Cris last Friday. She told me that my aunt Josie is not cancer-free. Unfortunately, it spread through her body and she has at most 6 years to live. Aunt Cris reminded me to call Mom and I promised her I would. She told me that her and Donnelle are going to the Philippines for 3 weeks on Nov. 3. So they were inviting the whole family over to their house on the 2nd for a final get together before they leave. It would also be a good time for them to give Memphis his belated birthday gift. He’ll like that.

I called Mom yesterday and talked to her for about 45 minutes. We talked about my aunt Josie and how how it’s spooked Mom into going to the doctor get thoroughly checked out. She said she hasn’t been to the doctor for a decade! She’s going to be fasting on Sunday and then going in on Monday to get on the treadmill and getting bloodwork done. So she’s definitely not going to be able to watch the kids on my birthday that day. Oh well. They’ll see her another time.

We also talked about how a friend of Mom’s from Ian’s swim class is going through a bad time because last Sunday she found out that her husband got killed while riding his bike at night on a busy street in Gilroy. It was a complete shock, even for me. It just goes to show that you never when your time is up. It made me realize that I shouldn’t spend so much time being angry, frustrated, and stressed out. I need to spend more time being happy and grateful for what we have and our good health. Me and Mom talked at length about that. She told me that Nelson’s been stressed out lately because they might have to get rid of their once million dollar home and move into an apartment. She kept telling him that it’s ok, that they don’t need to have big house. As long as they have a place to live, food to eat, and good health, they’re ok. But he’s still stressing out.

It’s been a bad time for everyone lately.

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I swore I wasn’t going to get addicted. I even swore that I wasn’t going to consider playing WoW.  But now I’m addicted. Granted, I don’t really have any other forms of entertainment besides my kids and my computer. However, I can’t seem to stop playing the game.

I started off with a female orc warrior named Silverrayne. The name doesn’t even come close to matching the ugliness of my toon. She’s quite strong but I only leveled her to 10. Took me a couple weeks because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I was completely lost.

So I decided to start a new toon called DeathStaar. She’s a blood elf mage with pretty kick ass spells. Unfortunately, she can only wear suck ass cloth armor and her spells suck mana like crazy, causing her to drink water constantly. The blood elves were not available to me because at the time I was on a 10 day trial. But Marty let me buy the full version and we’re currently paying $15 a month for the usage of the online game.

I got a lot of help questing and leveling Deathstaar when Sean’s Draegonis is online. We often play together. Along the way, I’ve gotten random help from other strangers who play the game. But most of it I’ve had to do on my own. I also added a lot of mods to help me quest and for me to have a much more enjoyable playing experience. I deleted a lot of the mods because they were either outdated, not working right, or I just didn’t need them. It’s been a lot of trial and error. Because of all that, Deathstaar is now a level 31 mage. Draegonis is a level 45 blood elf rogue. I want to lvl my toon to his level so that me and Sean can go on quests together.

Recently… I would say at about level 25, I found a mod called Zygor’s quests. Essentially, it’s a list of all the quests that I need to do from lvl 1 - 70. There are countless quests in WoW, but this mod only lists the essential quests that I need to do in order to level quickly. It tells me exactly what the quests are, what I need to do to complete them, and where I’m supposed to go to turn them in and get new ones. I tried out the mod on Deathstaar, and it leveled me quickly to 31 without much help from Draegonis. Sean can’t seem to understand why I’m leveling so fast. I haven’t told him about the mod yet. I have yet to use the mod on Silverrayne but I imagine I will once my mage and warlock are lvl 70s.

Last night I decided to start up a 3rd toon, DemynHeart, a raven haired blood elf warlock. I wanted a warlock because this class also has spells and they get to have pets. Remarkably, with the Zygor mod installed, I was able to level DemynHeart lightning fast. I’ve had her for less than 24 hours and she’s already a lvl 12 with an imp pet. The imp has been a tremendous help in keeping me alive through the quests. The quests I’ve done so far have been quite familiar because I did them for Deathstaar. The only difference is that I’m not wasting time doing other less important quests like I did with my 2nd toon. Therefore I’ve been able to level quickly.

I’m going to alternate between the two toons. It’s taking longer to level Deathstaar because of the amount of xp I have to earn. But with all the quests I have to do with her, it’s like practice for when I gotta do the same quests with DemynHeart. Ok enough about WoW… I’m an addict.

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I tried to swear off WoW and not get sucked into it. If you don’t know what WoW is, it’s World of Warcraft, a very popular online game that is played by over 9 million people varying widely in age. I saw the game and expansion packs being sold in stores and it sort of looked interesting. It’s the online version of the PC game Warcraft that me and Sean used to play together when we were dating back in 98.

I didn’t want to get sucked in because I know that I don’t have a whole lot of time to play it since I’m a mom of 2 young kids. But Tina’s playing and so is Sean. I believe he’s a level 37 Blood Elf hunter. I heard a lot about homeschooling moms talking about their kids enjoying WoW. Some moms even play WoW themselves.

I finally buckled down and tried the 10 day trial. I chose an orc warrior because blood elf was not available to me. I had to pay 20 bucks for the full version as well as another 30 bucks for the expansion pack that would give me the blood elf race. I wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

But within less than 2 days I had leveled to 4 and now I’m a level 10. I was convinced enough to buy the full version as well as the expansion pack. I created a blood elf mage 2 nights ago and she’s a level 9 now. I thoroughly enjoying the adventure and the looting as well as the spell casting. I’m hooked.

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Well, we didn’t anything spectacular or specifically anything special for Marty today. He was asked to work either yesterday or today for Master Plumbing and he chose to do it today of all days. I wasn’t mad because we didn’t have anything planned anyway. So instead of doing nothing, he decided to be productive and work for 6 hours and get paid doing it.

When he got home, we took showers and got the kids dressed. Marty had told me that his coworker Matt had invited the family to hang out with him, his wife and their kids for a barbeque. I was weary of doing it because I’m a homebody who doesn’t really have any friends. I would like to have good friends that I can trust and have fun just hanging out with. But being a mom with two kids and who doesn’t like to drive, I don’t get out much.

So I reluctantly agreed to take the kids with us over to Matt’s house. He only lives a few blocks away from us in a mobile park. When we got there I was sort of nervous. I’m a very likeable person. I just get nervous around people. It doesn’t really show though.

When we walked in, I looked around and started to relax. Their house was a mess. There was nothing formal or uptight about it. There were toys and clothes everywhere. There were two rambunctious boys, Mateus who’s 5 I think (spelling is probably incorrect) and Tobias who just turned two. Very close in age with Jasmine and Memphis. Our kids were a little cautious at first but that didn’t take long for them to relax and get into the thick of things.

The plan was that we would stay there for an hour or so to nibble on food and then we’d excuse ourselves to go pick up Sean later. But as it turned out, he didn’t feel like leaving his house today so we ended up staying at Matt’s house for several hours. I think 4 or 5 hours. The time actually flew by very fast because Matt’s wife Laurie is very talkative, laid back and funny. We all had a lot to say and talk about.

I admit, I actually had a great time. Even Sean was surprised to hear that I was socializing. We might even actually do this again. Matt and Laurie pretty much do this every weekend because it’s a lot easier for them to just hang out at home with their 4 kids than it is for them to all pack up and go out.

Anyway, that’s what we did for Father’s Day. I hope that all you dads out there had a good day.

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