Midnight Goddess

Just like missing pieces to the puzzle I call Life. Not all pieces are there but I was “given” some pieces to put into the puzzle. And I strongly believe that it’s all God’s doing. He hasn’t handed us everything on a silver platter. Because I think he wants us to learn because that’s what people do.

For many months we have sweated over how we were going to pay the $1700 taxes that we owed to WA Revenue for having a business there last year. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much of a business but Marty did make some money. We didn’t have $1700 to pay to WA Revenue so we have been putting it. It was a monstrously stressful weight that we were carrying on our shoulders. But a few days ago, we got a letter in the mail that the IRS owed us $700. Imagine that! We also found out around the same time that we actually owed WA Revenue less than $700. A few days later, we received a check in the mail from the IRS with about $730. We immediately deposited it and I turned around and paid WA Revenue what we owed them. A huge weight was lifted.

Recently, one of Bart’s newer employees bumped into Marty’s truck with Bart’s tractor. It caused a sizeable dent which pissed him off. Bart said he was willing to pay for the damages this time around but that next time, it would be solely Marty’s responsibility because it’s part of owning a business. Well Marty went to State Farm the other day and talked with the insurance rep. The guy was nice and said it was worth about $2200 in damages. After the $500 deductible, Marty received a check on the spot for $1750!! Isn’t that awesome?!? God’s work in progress… We were going to use all of that money to pay down our F350 truck debt. But Marty offered to let me use $1200 of that to pay off my 1 debt to Capital One. So I chose that route. Now I no longer have any debts to my name. 1 debt down, 6 more to go! My credit score should go through the roof in a few months! It’ll be like 700+, ideal for awesome mortgage and loan rates.

Marty also found a truck on Craigs List that is a commercial truck with a box and a GVW of 24000, exactly what he wanted. It’s a newer vehicle too. The guy was asking $11k+ for it. At first, we thought it was the same guy who sold us the Jeep. But they both are in the same building. Marty took the truck for a test drive and said it rides nicely. He told Bart about it and he likes the truck. Bart also said that the guy came down on the price to $10k+ out the door. So Bart’s having a dealership check the truck for any mechanical problems at his expense. If everything is ok then Bart and Marty will go in on the truck. Marty’s cost would be about $6500, $3500 less than what Bart originally wanted him to pay. Great news! They’ll find out by Wednesday if Bart is going to buy the truck. I’m crossing my fingers!

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Ha. I wish I lost some weight. Ever since I gave birth to my first child, I wanted to lose weight. It’s been difficult because I’m lazy and I love food. I don’t like to limit myself when it comes to good tasting food. I’m also nowhere near being a health nut. I like eating veggies but I don’t like salad. And I’m very picky with food. I also hate to exercise because of the pain and the sweat. I’ve started and stopped working out to several different DVDs.

Well, I found Hip Hop Abs online from the recommendation of a friend on a forum. I downloaded it and burned it to a DVD. By next Saturday, it will have been 1 month since I started working out to the DVD. I’ve done the workout everyday since then except for 2 days. Not bad, eh? I haven’t even worked out to the entire DVD yet. I’ve only done the first 1/2 hour of it. There are 3 others, one of them being 45 minutes and another is only 9 minutes.

i figured since I naturally lost weight after the birth of Jasmine that I was at most 120 lbs. i didn’t know for sure because we haven’t had a scale since we moved out of Robbie’s house a few years ago. Well we bought one at Walmart last Saturday night. When I stripped down to nothing and stepped on the scale, I suddenly got depressed. The scale read “121.4 lbs” with me completely naked. It really got me down in the dumps. So all this time when I thought I was at most 120 lbs, I was actually more than that. And I know I had lost weight since I first started the Hip Hop Abs workout.

Me and Marty got into a bit of a tizzy over my reaction to my weight. But I’m over it now. It doesn’t mean that I’m quitting. It just means that I need to lose 16 lbs to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. At least I know now how much weight I need to lose.

Yesterday I read in People magazine about a 16 year old boy that was 226 lbs. He was overweight. He then started to play Dance Revolution, a video game where the player dances to music on a dance pad. After playing the game several hours per day for about 4-5 times a week, he lost over 40 lbs! I haven’t actually tried it but I love playing games and dancing to music. I should try it.

The main thing is that I want to get down under 110 lbs by my 29th birthday in October. I know I can do it. I just have to be persistent.

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I had planned on taking Memphis to Great America this month. But I wasn’t able to do both Great America and Gilroy Gardens on our budget. We managed to do GG for his birthday. The next best thing was to suggest to my in laws that they take all of us to Great America when they come down to visit.

My in laws arrived around dinner time last Thursday. Marty was still working so me and Jaz drove to Super Egg Roll which was just a minute away by car. The in laws and Memphis met us there. We had dinner there because Robbie was craving their soup. We ordered soup and mango smoothies for Marty to go. Unfortunately, the lady only packed a small cup of sauce with the soup which was not nearly enough for Marty. He had me toss most of the soup down the drain.

Friday, the in laws took the kids to Chuck E Cheese. It was a nice peaceful several hours for me. I finished up my pack and put it up for sale. So far I’ve only made one sale and 1 pending from it. But that’s ok. When it is my time to success like crazy, God will let me know.

Saturday, we all got up relatively early. The in laws brought over some donuts from Yum Yum Donuts for our breakfast. Once everyone was ready to go, we headed to Great America in Robbie’s Explorer. It’s a nice ride and I thought about maybe getting one for myself. But then I decided that I still want a Mercedes SUV.

It was hot that day so I was glad that me and the kids were in light clothing. It was pretty crowded in the lines. We saw one blonde woman who must have been close to our age. She was wearing tight ass jeans, a top and bright pink high heels… in fucking Great America of all places! And she had makeup caked on. You could chisel it off with tools.

Once we got inside, we were sort of wandering around for several minutes until we finally decided to head over to the Nickelodeon area for Memphis. This was part of Memphis’ extended birthday anyway. Being an adult, I hadn’t been to GA since I was in high school. That was 13 years ago. There were a few things that hadn’t changed. But there were a lot of new rides and new sections. The last time I went, I was there as a teenager looking for cute guys.

The kids got on some kiddie rides and I also took photos of them with some of the Nick Toons characters. The whole point was to make sure the kids were having fun.

Marty was antsy to get on some adult rides with me. So the first ride we got on was the big boat that turns completely upside down. It was fucking awesome and we were both screaming like little kids. Marty got on the Drop Tower by himself. I wish I took a photo of the expression on his face as he was falling. It was so hilarious. I could hear him screaming like a girl on his way down.

Everyone except Marty had lunch in the food court area. The kids had pizza and me and the in laws got teriyaki bowls. I also had tuna sushi. The teriyaki didn’t taste like teriyaki. The best part was the sushi. It was scalding hot by then and unfortunately we sat at a table without an umbrella.

After lunch, the in laws took off back to Nickelodeon with the kids and me and Marty got to spend a couple hours riding the rides ourselves. It was so much fun since we had never done that before in the 10+ years we’ve been together. Marty tried to win a big stuff animal for the kids but the game was rigged. A man who can smash through concrete with a sledge hammer… he couldn’t hit the bell with the supplied carnival sledgehammer. He was pissed.

Overall it was a good day for everyone. The kids got to do something fun and different. It was their first time at GA and their first time riding a roller coaster. It was our first time as a couple at GA. The only bad thing about the trip was that we all got sun burned bad, me especially. I’m still hurting, even now. But what matters is that everyone had a great time.

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Here is a motivational story that I got in my email today. I get one every Friday…

“My mother taught me very early to believe I could achieve any accomplishment I wanted to. The first was to walk without braces.”
Wilma Rudolph

The human will is the most incredible thing. I believe it is the human will that keeps us going, when everyone else expects us to sit, or even quit.

I have always been fascinated by the heroes and sheroes who have made indelible marks in world history; and illustrated distinguished triumphs over seemingly, insurmountable adversity.

I can vividly recall reading about Wilma Rudolph when I was in grade school. Her life epitomized, “breaking through limitations.” Over the last three decades, I have thought about Wilma when so-called, “limitations” presented themselves in my own life. I think of Wilma, and I am passionately reminded of the amazing power of the human will.

Wilma Rudolph was born prematurely and weighed only 4.5 pounds. Most of her childhood was spent in St. Bethlehem, Tennessee. There, she was bedridden as she battled double pneumonia, scarlet fever and polio. At six years old, she lost the use of her left leg. Subsequently, she was fitted with leg braces. Later on in life, she was often quoted as saying: “I spent most of my time trying to get them off. (I had an uncompromising resolve) to be a normal kid.”

At the age of 16, when she was only a sophomore in high school, the 5′ 11″ Wilma Rudolph won a bronze medal at the Olympic Games in Melbourne, Australia. And, in the 1960 Rome Olympics, Rudolph became “the fastest woman in the world.” She also was the first American woman to win three gold medals in one Olympics. She won the 100 and 200 meter races; and also anchored the U.S. team to victory in the 4 X 100 meter relay, breaking records along the way.

Wilma Rudolph is remembered by family and admirers alike, for her incredible calm and graceful demeanor when under pressure. Valiantly and brilliantly, she removed all of her “struggles” during the course of her lifetime.

She once said: “The most important aspect is to be yourself and have confidence in yourself…triumph can’t be had without a struggle.”

In 1994, Wilma Rudolph died of brain cancer at the age of 54. Few would argue that she lived a full, purposeful, and triumphant life. Rudolph expected victory when just about everyone else would have understood if she’d just lay down, sit or even quit. Thank you, Wilma, for being the contrary.

Fran Briggs

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I got the following in my email this morning. I would really love to have serenity in my life. It’s a mindset.

Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.A person becomes calm in the measure that one understands themselves as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as one develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect, one ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm person, having learned how to govern themselves, knows how to adapt themselves to others; and they, in turn, reverence their spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of them and rely upon them. The more tranquil a person becomes, the greater is their success, their influence, their power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find their business prosperity increase as one develops a greater self control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a person whose demeanor is strongly equable.

The strong, calm person is always loved and revered. They are like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life - a life that dwells in the ocean of truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the eternal calm!

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control flow few people we meet in life who are well-balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

James Allen
1864-1912, Author

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